I will never leave you or forsake you.

I don’t know much about the real world. I know that my parents have sacrificed eighteen years of their lives to give me the best possible life, and they have greatly succeeded. I know that they pray for me daily, love me daily, provide for me daily, and do their absolute best to raise me in the love of the Lord. I know that even on bad days and days I complain about trivial things, I have no idea what half of the world is going through at that very moment. And when I catch myself in this selfish state (which I have been working on lately), I take a moment to think of the bountiful blessings God has bestowed upon me and my family.

When I first heard about the shooting in Connecticut, I was stunned but went back to my day, selfishly not wanting to dwell on something so awful during the holiday season. I felt some “connection” because I was born in Connecticut and lived there the first couple years of my life. However, the realization of this massacre did not hit me until yesterday.

Innocent dads and moms who hustled that morning to get their kids to school on time will never kiss them goodbye again. They will never get to play with their little girls hair or wrestle with their little boy. Their lives will be forever changed, and some may never fully recover. Marriages will struggle, siblings will suffer in silence, and many survivors will be scarred.

I finally let myself cry over this tragedy yesterday and have been unable to stop tears when I think about it. Even this post causes distraught emotions because of the confusing thoughts running through my head. My goal is to keep the blog mostly happy and a small little journal of my simple life. However, I felt the need to process my thoughts through this post.

One thing I took from this situation is an even stronger desire to become an elementary teacher. I want to love on children the way the teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School did. I want them to know their life is so beyond important and that no matter what, their heavenly Father will always unconditionally love them. I want to live for my future students, not for myself. I want to end each day exhausted because I taught, loved, played, and nurtured God’s children.

“Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out our hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” Psalm 62:6

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